so this is it… i lost my thread here, changes got pushed over the tops annd more changes cumin their way..scared a little, advantures in another way, support system changing, suddnly lots like my mind has slowed down, its not connected in the same way..havent takin tees with the paper, trying to focus on work…
..so on saturday was thinkin bout the timechange..think its amazing that an hour of our life gets cut away or added, guess the positive is that it gets added in winter, and in summer u dont feel the cut so much couse its summer, but an whole hour gets added, the whole system changes, and its changed in different places at different times, supposebly adding the dreaming or the awaken state..so the clock ticks fwd, just like that, soo..if thae scientist decided a long time ago that they add or cut an hour (or replace it) to different zones..shouldnt we have the liberty to change the timeof our watches when feel like it, like say for a weekend u just switch the hours, for the fun of it…just to see what would change, or maybe not..the tricky part is calculating the timechange, a simple calculation, but always gets the mind confused if you gain that hour, or loose one, right there at the time changers…and another thing is the actual time in between the change… so if 3am turns 2am, that means that that night you experience 2am two time, so if something happens at 2.30, which 2.30 would that be? kinda funny no? and the fact that something like this is calculated very througly by scientists and not religion? and how doeas it work with for examples all the stockbrokers, or others taht race with time? couse the hour changes one place but not at another..does this make a glitch in the system ? how does it all work?
i feel strangely relaxed, like something has let go of me, dont really know if i like it though, its like im falling back to relaxed state of brainwaves, and would like to acclerate a little bit..guess its the balance kickin in, sittin at my hideaway place, and dont really feel things so strongly anymore, its like a disconnection..and dont feel much..it´s kinda more emptier state..
mayebe been lettin it go out threw designing, maybe not, its like my strenght went to sleep..and i want them to wake up! need some angel..has my inspiration taken a hike?
was thinkin bout old bogarts yesterday, was a place in my nordic city of stavanger where used to hang out, for tees, for coffies and bierras, got a msg from the man that that put the place together..havent talked for many years…so got me thinkin bout this place, it was one of those places that get stuck with u…a place where u would take a coffy that would last for many hours and and just talk bout everything between the core and the sky, always friend around the tables, and then all the parties with the best black groove in the city, it was a true melting pot! a sort of united nations hangout crib, from norway, somalia, france, poland, states, nigeria, irak, iran, france, autralia, marooko, albania, ghana, england, vietnam…
young kids, old kids, all the diversity at one place sharing tees, drinks, music and life…
the new ppl in town would pop by..mix kids, rooted kids, travelers, everyone was there…
u could go there alone, was always some freinds at a table, loved the spirit.. and all that in threw that place! the media didnt and tryied to portray it as a drug place with a bad reputation, and eventually hastled and the place managed to shot down..which it did, but the memories, moments and relationships continued…
which gets my thinkin about groups.. we create tribes to feel more secure, some try to live up to heros, ideals, philospohies or superstars, think is bout doing a mix trix and make it too our own life, it can be scary, but there are always many guides, everybody has such a differnt story to tell based on own memories and experiences, living a differnt story and getting influenced by all around us, not getting stuck in one thing, but then again yes…balacing it all based on our experiences and what life has tough us, and thats where advices are strange, couse no one has really lived it in the same way, and therefore it could be bout a certain experience, but its like everyone has their own past and motivation..strange huh?¿? thats why i think that the only person that could judge us is oneself..but then again everything is so relative, but think bout it.. they say that when the soul leves the body it has flashbacks, and maybe its our conciousness letting us reflect what we feel we did good or bad..put would be funny no? taht all that time ppl think what others would think of them, it would actually be quite important to know what u think of it…guess thats why enjoying the writing a lot lately, simply couse of the feeling that it gives me time in the moment that im writing to enjoy the moment, think bout things at that given moment and clash them down, and lets me go on to other things to write about, and then maybe in some little way, someone can read my mind and maybe a thought will transform itself to another thought..would be fun..anyways..think my humor has jumped out the door..hmmm….should find some joke book or something..hmmm..nope..getting nowhere…desert…aerosmith rocking the background..some guys by the next table talkin bout something…my mobile has no batteries again..my cop of tea and wine has finished, my background finder shows thae date yesterday, my clock is set to ..let me check..1h and something fwd…and the year is 2004 couse havent cracked a program and needs to set back..yes, very good, guess have the time set back without really noticing,,sooo…wonder what did that day…set to october 25th, cant really know, was back in digital school by that date, on a monday, huh?¿ cant really know..was on the second year of my second studies..that was sopposed to be just one year of digital design, to get this year of to work with my clothes by night, but since that year was used on enjoying studentlife and singlenes life, i jumped to the second year, couse couldn´t really figure out threw the working summer my big lifeplan, in 7 years was studying loads of stuff, clothing design, thats was my biggest passion, becouse decided a long time ago that wanted to round up edges of things, gotta love the organic line, its just soo natural and flowsy, soo atrarted these 4 years in barcelona, was supposed to be parsons in new york, but ended up in a small and intimate school in barcelona, taht was supposed to be in english, but was in spanish, and when u got a little of that unknown language, it swapped at times to catalan…so that was a challange, and i learned bodylanguage, so think i could manage in any lanuage now couse of my expressive hand and facial manuvers..ppl tell me i talk a lot with the hands, but one time a saw a video, and i honestly looked like a chicken getting drowned with all those arm and hand and body manuvers…so yes back to studiyng clothes…i loved it, enjoyed every part of its like the times had to think bout making forms, and volumes, and construct worlds, and play with the textles, and improvise it all, just triggered somthing in me…its like take a theme, and u just let it flow threw the imagination, and either do it on the paper and pencils, or by improvising with a bust and see what happens or contruct it in the head, that is what would happen in nightime, would just get a 3d image of a thing and start moulding it from different sides..and just flow around the whole thing mentally, and somehow i got quite positive response to it all…many of the thoughts didnt really make it to reality, i think if i think about it maybe a 3% got out, think i just dreamt away more and more, couse that was the part that was the most fulfilling..and then i started this whole digital design thing as a pretext to get time and munnay to have more play time, even though my digital school gave me new tools to use, there wasn´t really this passionate feeling, and the ppl i connetced with, dropped the school after the 1srt year, and i just wnted to play more…i think i learned tools there, but at that time my friends were having studios and teaching and developing in such another way that the surrounding of this school was giving me..tryied too hook ppl up..but didnt really have a creative stimulation within the walls, and did try, but guess was´t the moment for that, guess doing colorwheels and thinking it was just gonna be a loose year and having little chalanges that year just let me float into having fun and enjoying other aspects of life…have little battery…9 min left..but finshed…second year dont really remember sooo much..third year was about a struggling to do a project apart the one imposed by the institution…and a draem set from 2003 and theory of chaos, where wanted to link together ppl , since everyone and everything influenced eachother, and was actually my hidden agenda explication of these studies…but managed to get to a point of documentating it all in thoughts to the office, cut off to get it threw, but managed too see a project similar 3 months later , somehow linked to the same offices, that i think might serve to the future development of the project…couse ones u have a thought it just keeps (got a plug to battreies!) on transforming itself, espacially if some
passion exists there…and there are always strange coicidences, so u newer atually know..can just continue to develope and grow, and live the transformations (been using moments a lot lately …) but yes, the new moments that are now and around everywhere….
(saving thoughts…forgot that, but luckily its save…so will try to post , maybe tomorow..) i really like my sectret bar…has a big window in the corner where i sit with the view, but must say that too much in my own head to notice what happens around when write) so if i post this…and someone actually has read this to this part…and think the possiblilty is small, but thinking positivly, in case someone has…thanks for listining and taking time, this is quite absurd to write…but if actually someone does..would be srange though…but at the same time a big thanks for reading my mind…couse if someone woul..i wouldnt maybe really know u, but u would know a part of me…but maybe thats a whole new article ..guess sometimes u dont know but hope that someone could undrestand..but then someone would understand it i its own own…and then again…maybe thtats the beauty of life…i walk alone, i walk alone in the radio….okay, maybe its time do disconnect now…or not , still have half a cig a nd half a glass…the other day was reapiting india arie, jsut love that video song and the texts…capturing moments!